Pastures of Faith Read online

  Daniel frowned. He wondered why his mother hadn’t sent the canned goods or invitation with him earlier that morning. It wasn’t like his mother to send people on unnecessary errands or to be so forgetful. He was noticing that more and more with Mamm these days. “Sylvia is in the house with baby Gid.”

  “I was hoping she’d be with the baby. He’s such a darling little one, isn’t he?” Rachel said lightly as she sailed past him and into the house, much more comfortable than usual.

  He wondered what had gotten into her. Even at Daed’s farm, Rachel seemed much happier this past week or so. In fact, he realized that her change had come about after the singing when Jacob Zook had asked her to ride home. She didn’t even seem to mind spending time in the gardens, something that had seemed to unnerve her during her first few weeks at the farm.

  Earlier this week, as he was walking home from Jake’s, he crossed over the pasture and approaching the garden. There she was, kneeling in the garden with her eyes shut and her face turned toward the sun. She had her hands pressed together as though in silent prayer. He had only watched for a moment, both mesmerized by the sight of such a beautiful, faithful woman pausing long enough to thank the good Lord but also embarrassed to spy on such a personal moment. But, with the sun shining down on her and her face so peaceful, he felt drawn to watch longer than he intended.

  Indeed, he had seen a change in Rachel. Mayhaps, he thought, it was when he saw a different side of her when dealing with young Linda that day. Her defensive shield had been dropped, replaced with a caring tenderness that surprised him. And, of course, when they has spoken on the front porch of Lillian and Junior’s, when he had watched her hanging the laundry as though painting a picture with colors, and when they had gone on that short walk, she had also seemed much more friendly and welcoming of his attention.

  Since then, his own feelings had shifted. Instead of avoiding her, he seemed to seek her out after the evening meal. He’d find her sitting on the porch, watching as Lillian’s children ran through the yard, chasing kittens or butterflies. He stopped several times, pausing long enough to inquire as to how she was doing and how her day had been. She seemed to light up, smiling at him and appreciative of his inquiry. But their discussions had been short since Daniel was usually on his way to the barn to finish some last minute chores before retiring for the evening.

  Unfortunately, he also had to deal with his brothers. Whenever Samuel saw Daniel pause to greet Rachel or caught him watching her from the barn, he made wisecracks, teasing Daniel or imitating her. Protectively, Daniel would rebuke him sternly. His younger brother seemed to march to a different drum than the rest of the Lapp family, a drum that increasingly concerned everyone and created a growing distance between him and Daniel.

  That distance, Daniel realized, was forcing him to feel truly protective of Rachel. He didn’t want Samuel hurting her anymore. After all, the more he observed her, the more Daniel realized that, despite her stern outer shell, she had another side to her, one that was full of love and caring as well as respect for God. The glimpses into this side of her had piqued his curiosity in a way that he had never experienced before when he was around any other Amish woman.

  As he sat on the porch at Jake and Sylvia’s, he could hear her voice inside the kitchen. Once again, curiosity got the better of him. Without thinking, he found himself following in her footsteps, entering the kitchen to see what she was doing and to hear her sweet words.

  He was surprised to see her cooing over the baby who was tucked neatly into her arms. For a moment, he stood in the doorway and watched her, this strange girl with so many dimensions to her personality. Rachel held the baby and sang softly to him while Sylvia unpacked the items from the basket that Mamm had sent. As he looked on, he observed Rachel’s tenderness toward the infant and the glow in her eyes as she cradled him. It was clear that she loved children. He should have realized that when she had comforted Linda that one weekend. Indeed, he realized, she was full of surprises.

  “He’s such a wonderful gut baby, ja?” Rachel asked, a genuine smile on her face.

  Sylvia glanced over her shoulder. “I certainly think so,” she agreed.

  Rachel cradled the baby as she sat down at the table. “I love the little ones,” she said softly, a wistful look in her eyes as she gazed at his soft, sleeping face. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before she continued to sing in Pennsylvania Dutch to the infant.

  Sylvia watched for a long moment, her expression soft and filled with love. Then her eyes flickered toward the door and she saw her brother standing there. “Daniel!” A smile warmed her face even more. “You look like Jake standing there, watching us with the baby,” she teased. “He likes to sneak up on me, too!”

  “Finished for the day,” he said sheepishly, embarrassed that his sister had caught him watching Rachel. He took of his wide brimmed straw hat and shuffled it in his hands. “Reckon I’ll head home to help with the milking.” He hesitated, his eyes glancing over at Rachel again as she continued to sing to the baby. She wasn’t paying attention to him and seemed quite content to stay. But the moment struck him as one of opportunity, an opportunity to spend some time with her alone, without the prying eyes of others…especially Samuel. “Mayhaps, Rachel, if you are headed back, you should walk with me, ja?”

  Rachel looked up, surprised that he had addressed her. She thought she saw a smile cross Sylvia’s face and Rachel felt a flush covering her cheeks. She wasn’t used to the attention of young men and certainly not so publicly. “I thought to visit with the baby,” she replied softly.

  Sylvia glanced at Daniel, seeing his expression change from hope to despair. Quickly, she stepped forward and looked down at her son. “He’s sleeping now, ja? Won’t wake up until later, for sure and certain.” She smiled at Rachel. “Come another day next week. Visit earlier and have some dinner. He’s more active then and you can stay longer.”

  Sylvia took the baby from Rachel and, quietly, hurried into the sitting room next to the kitchen. Rachel could hear Sylvia putting the baby into the cradle, the floorboards creaking as she gave it a gentle push to rock it. When she came back into the kitchen, Sylvia glanced at the clock over the door. She handed Rachel the basket in order to return it to her mamm. “Tell Mamm that I said danke for the canned beans and we will be there after church service, ja?”

  Clearly, the visit was cut short. After all, Rachel realized, it was soon time for evening chores anyway. Sylvia would have to prepare supper while Jake finished the milking. That meant that, indeed, she would have to walk home with Daniel. The thought didn’t bother her. After all, he had come calling the other night. But she felt shy, especially since he had made it rather public by asking her in front of Sylvia. Tongues would begin wagging, for sure and certain, she realized.

  Taking the basket from Sylvia, Rachel peeked inside to see that there was fresh bread, two loaves. It was Sylvia’s way of thanking her mother for the canned vegetables that had been given. “See you Sunday,” she said as she followed Daniel out of the kitchen and onto the porch.

  Outside, Daniel hooked his fingers into the ends of his suspenders and looked around. The sun was still high in the sky but the temperature was cooling. “Sorry I can’t give you a ride home,” he said casually. “I walked today but if I know you are coming some other time, I’ll be certain to take a buggy.”

  Rachel glanced at him shyly. “I don’t mind walking.” Then, she quickly added, “It’s not so hot today, anyway.”

  Together, they descended the steps and began walking down the lane. She walked a few paces behind him, swinging the basket in her hand as she walked. He glanced back at her as they turned from Jake and Sylvia’s long driveway onto the road. “Let me carry that, ja?” he said as he reached for the basket. His hand brushed against hers and he saw color flood to her cheeks once again. He wanted to smile, liking this demure Rachel very much. But he suppressed the urge and, instead, quickly, he took the basket and acted as though n
othing had happened.

  For a few minutes, they walked in silence. He purposefully led her along the road, rather than walking through the fields. Walking on the road would take longer and give them more time to visit. Their shoes crunched against the loose macadam, the only noise besides birds chirping as they flew overhead. It was the middle of June and spring would soon turn into summer with hot days and humid nights. Before long, the fields would need to be harvested and the days would be even longer with hard work in the summer heat exhausting everyone before the frolic of fall befell them.

  “Church Sunday this weekend,” he said, breaking the silence.

  “Ja.”

  “Are they much different than in Ohio, then?” he asked.

  She thought for a moment then shook her head. “Yes and no.” She glanced at him and, when he looked at her, she smiled. “Reckon that’s not much of an answer.”

  “Bit of a riddle, ja,” he said smiling back.

  “They are different, of course, but basically the same. The main difference is the sermons. But the songs are the same, the feelings are the same. Our bishop and ministers preach differently, true. Less from the Bible and more from experience. But, I like the sermons here. They seem to be deeper into faith and ministry from the old ways.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “That’s quite a statement.”

  She shrugged her shoulder. “Just what I think.”

  A buggy passed alongside them and Daniel raised his hand to wave, not knowing who it was but certain that it was a neighbor. Not many buggies traveled aimlessly down the road, especially at this time of the day. He saw a hand wave back. It was a good feeling of community. “I was thinking,” he began, keeping his eyes looking straight ahead at the horizon. “Mayhaps you’d like to ride over to the church service in my buggy,” he heard himself ask.

  She caught her breath. “Oh,” she whispered. Riding with Daniel to the church service was rather bold. Everyone would see and, even though she was living at their farm, people would get ideas. She felt that familiar flutter inside of her chest.

  Quickly, he stammered over his words. “I mean, might be more quiet than riding with Lillian, Junior and all there little ones. I just take myself and David or Samuel.”

  She bit her lip and looked away, quiet for a moment. He didn’t have to wonder what she was thinking for long when she finally responded. “I don’t think I’d care to ride over with David or Samuel,” she said, her voice strong but soft.

  “Ja,” he nodded. “I understand that.” He felt the protective urge to shield her, once again, from his younger brother. “I won’t take David or Samuel if you ride with me.”

  This time, a smile broke out onto her face and she looked up at him, those large brown eyes glowing appreciation for his kindness. “Then I would ride with you, Daniel. That would be nice,” she said. But the look on her face spoke volumes of something else. Appreciation. Adoration. Elation. And he was touched.

  Without realizing it, he walked closer to her, their arms brushing against each other from time to time. His heart pounded inside his chest as he took a deep breath and finally spoke the words that he had been building up the courage to speak. They were words that he had never spoken before, not a young maedal.

  “I reckon you know about the singing on Sunday at Zooks, ja?” he finally said, glancing over his shoulder at her.

  Rachel nodded. “Your friend mentioned it to me at the last singing,” she admitted.

  Daniel felt his pulse quicken at the reference to Jacob Zook. He didn’t suspect that Jacob had come-calling on Rachel since that singing but, he realized that he wasn’t certain. He hoped that he wasn’t too late. “Reckon you’d like to go.”

  “Might be nice,” she replied.

  Daniel took a deep breath. “I...I could certainly take you,” he said. “It’s not too far and,” he hesitated. He wanted to ask her the next question. Yet, he had never really asked anyone before, not anyone like Rachel. The words seemed to float in his mind but he was having trouble forming them on his lips. “I reckon that, mayhaps you might want to ride home with me.” His eyes darted to look at her. “Being that it’s so convenient and all.”

  This time, he saw her cheeks flame red and he thought he saw her fighting a nervous smile. He wondered what she thought and whether she would agree. Riding home with a young man from a singing was a step toward something more serious. While young men often asked a woman to ride home while at the singing, asking before the singing was different. It was the beginning of something that usually ended in front of the church. His question was an unspoken gesture of his desire to spend time with her, to get to know her. And her answer would indicate whether she was of the same mindset. His question indicated that he wanted to understand more about this young woman. He wanted to see more of the softer side of Rachel, the side that he suspected was her true self, and the side that made his pulse race when she was near.

  “Being convenient and all, I reckon that would be fine,” she whispered, her eyes downcast, trying to avoid meeting his eager gaze, and her voice shy. Yet, when she glanced at him, she saw that he was watching her and she flushed once again. His dark curly hair hung in wide ringlets over his forehead from under his straw hat. His blues eyes, so typical of the Lapp family, seemed to sparkle at her, something she had been noticing more and more in the past few weeks.

  She thought his newfound attention had started the day when she comforted Linda in the hayloft but she couldn’t be certain. But she had noticed him watching her as she worked at the Lapp farm. When she gardened, she’d often sense that she was being watched. At first, it had unnerved her, reminding her too much of that last day with her Mamm in the yard. But, after the first few incidents, she began to feel more at ease, as though he were watching out for her, protecting her from any danger. When she hung the laundry on Mondays and Fridays, she often saw him walk by, sparing a quick “hullo” or friendly wave. And she couldn’t forget him asking her to go walking that day last week. Now, unless she was mistaken, he was taking the first step toward something much larger than simple niceties. And, to her own surprise, she had agreed that it would be fine.

  Daniel tried to contain his excitement, although he couldn’t understand why he felt so elated. While they walked the rest of the way home in silence, his mind reeled with the possibilities and Rachel’s struggled with her own turmoil of thoughts.

  Chapter Nine

  All afternoon on Saturday, Daniel had spent his time in the horse building. He had uncovered the courting wagon, walking around it nervously as he tried to decide whether he wanted to clean it up for the singing tomorrow or simply take his daed’s covered buggy. The courting buggy was quite pretty, with plush burgundy velvet seats and a well-oiled wood interior. Daniel had yet to use the courting buggy and, until recently, had never thought to consider hitching his Morgan to it. Now, with the Sunday singing fast approaching, Daniel had to make a decision. If he was going to take the courting buggy, he would need to clean it up. Certainly no honorable young woman would want to ride in a dusty buggy.

  “Big decisions, eh?”

  Daniel looked up, surprised to see his brother, Junior, walking into the stable. Courtship was a private matter and the decisions that went with it were rarely discussed. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Junior chuckled and ran his hand along the side of the buggy. “I used this very buggy to court Lillian,” he said. “Remember the day I bought it. Daed wasn’t too happy that I spent so much money on such a fancy courting buggy.”

  “I remember,” Daniel said. His father had clucked his tongue in disapproval at the amount of money Junior had spent and also at the fancy nature of the open-top buggy. But, there hadn’t been anything Jonas could do since his son was an adult and the money had been fairly earned and saved.

  “Ja but look how many of his sons married well using it!”

  A frown crossed Daniel’s face. “Just you and Steve.” He didn’t care for the insinuation of wha
t Junior was saying.

  “Emanuel, too.” Junior tried to look serious as he nodded. “Mayhaps you, too.”

  “Bah! Not looking to get married,” Daniel said too quickly in response. “Just thinking that it’s awful hot at night. Be better to ride in the open air buggy tomorrow than the closed buggy.”

  It was clear that Junior didn’t believe him. “I reckon that makes gut sense,” he replied. He slapped his hand on the side of the buggy. “Tomorrow’s bound to be just as warm as today so, you probably should clean it up a bit, ja?” He gave his brother a wink before he left the stable and headed across the driveway for his house, leaving Daniel to watch after him with a pounding in his chest and tightness in his throat.

  The next morning at church, Daniel couldn’t seem to sit still. He felt fidgety and nervous as he listened to the lectures and sang the hymns with the rest of the congregation. The service was held in the Zook’s barn so that the fresh breeze could provide a welcome break from the heat. He had barely caught a glimpse of Rachel that morning for she had ridden to the Zook’s church service with Junior and Lillian. Linda had managed to cajole her way into the buggy with Daed and Mamm, sitting next to Samuel as she eagerly stared out the back window at the cars behind them. David and Daniel had decided to walk, cutting across several fields in order to get to the service on time.